Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
