accomplished twins. life is a go
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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