Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Is it penis luge time yet?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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