If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
