Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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