my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
