My nipple is on Facebook.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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