oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
