from now on my penis is your penis
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
