Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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