Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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