I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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