Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
