For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
