I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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