tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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