I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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