oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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