Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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