Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
