So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
