I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
