butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
