making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I love having hate sex.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
