I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I wish i was in the wii world.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
