he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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