i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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