everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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