I wish I could teleport
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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