dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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