I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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