making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
