How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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