6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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