the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
