his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm at about main and main street
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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