There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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