Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
