Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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