And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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