He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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