Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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