Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
