Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
