what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
