he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
