if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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