i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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