we have officially lost it.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
