brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
