I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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