I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
